New Product Idea

You have heard of fortune cookies and their ability to tell the future. But I ask, why should Tat have all the fun? What about fortune bacon? Every strip of bacon has a little message on it to get you through the day! Even better, you could replace that terrible tasting piece of paper in your current fortune cookies, with strips of bacon! Ah-so round-eye!!!! -_-

For the Mom that has it all

For my mutha, only the best mutha effin gifts, mutha! This year's Mothers Day will be different than the last few. Last year I gave her my dirty laundry and told her to clean it. The year prior, I let her spring me on bail. A few years back, I didnt get her anything because I am 99% sure I am adopted. I mean, she is black as coal and I am whiter than Casper! Well, this year she is getting a BACON FILLED CHOCOLATE PIG. Holy crap does that look good! Umm... on second thought, I am gonna eat that myself. Instead, I will give her a high five, or at least email her one.

Bacon-bot my ass!

Hail Baconites! Yes, we are having somewhat of a Bacon Renaissance here at the nation. In doing some half-assed research that fuel our bacon laden minds, I came across an older blog and news article way back from '06 about NEC developing robots that could perceive taste. In a strange twist of events, it appears that a camera man taping for the video was perceived by the robot as bacon! All I can say to that is that the camera man obviously ate his pound portion of delicious bacon before filming the sequence. In regards to the robot, obviously, it is a ploy in order for us to think again of bacon, while it contacts "Sky-Net" to pass along the intelligence that humans could serve as pigs for their upcoming war against us.

I say we should take action first and kill all the robots! Wait - what if they make terminators that look like pigs... and they fire razor tipped bacon strips?!? NOoooooooo! ...Well at least I'll go out with a smile on what's left of my face, while choke-slamming Robby the Robot. All is well.

Bacon or Beer Can?

Damn, the Jamaicans might be the coolest people on earth! They have found a way, with their awesome language, to make the word "Bacon" be the same as "Beer Can". The 2 greatest substances on the planet. This is the next best thing since the Eskimos many words for snow, or the Jews many words for money. Have a look HERE for the proof. (Need sound)

6 Reasons Bacon is Better than True Love

I love my bacon dammit. As soon as congress passes that bill allowing me to marry my bacon, it's on! This fine fellow HERE did this great documentury about how bacon is actually better than true love. It insipred me to start writing bacon articles again for the nation. All you whiney little, bacon-fucks can get off our assess about not delivering you bacon content lately.

Where the f**k is Snook, TX?!?

Hail Baconites and set your sites to the bacon beacon! I see we here at the nation have been on hiatus again, and in this economy, can you blame us? We have to spend every waking moment searching for bacon and every dreaming moment, dreaming when we can have bacon again! Hopefully, some of you are still out there to read this, if not, I understand, there's bacon to be eaten!

I just recently read something off of the cold bacon press, providing "top 5" list for bacon. While Onboards Informatics' list some heavy hitters, it had one failure, I wouldn't call it an epic failure, with bacon, there is never an epic failure, of course unless the bacon is not cooked up and eaten, but 'tis a failure to be sure mateys! Of all the cities listed, there was not an entry for Snook, TX! I know - what the hell is this world coming to, when you talk about bacon and not mention Snook! What the town may lack for in size, population @568, the little restaurant, known as "Sodolak's Original Country Inn" or simply "Steak House", packs quite the lunch punch.

I can see some of your faces now, adjusting in your chair and wiping bacon grease off your face. I can't tell if that look is disbelief, confusion or nirvana brought on by bacon, so I'll just clear this up for yas. Snook is a birthing place of the ever famous, country-fried f'ing bacon! I first wrote it about it here, and let me tell you something sonny-Jim, it's so popular, other restaurateurs, have started copying the receipe! So while the OI had an impressive list, I have at least one more entry for it.

For all the birthdays we have missed, I wish to apologize and say "Happy Belated Bacon Birthday!"

The revenge of NEB!

Hail Baconites! After the brutal slaying of NEB at the bacony hands of the nefarious "Baconman" we of course went into states of mourning and disbelief. How could one bacon cryptid kill another and why? This event alone proves the dichotomy of all beings good and evil all in one. Whilst mourning on the moors of Lake Superior one mist filled morning, a call was heard by us. A faint cry that sounded like the "wheee-wheee-wheee" of a pig with the horrid sensation that bacon was not available in all places that bacon was needed. It was then we saw it, something horrible, something sensational, something bacon. It flew through the mist, and at times we could not make out what it was. We then saw it in full view - it swooped down to us and threw what we thought was a pound of fully cooked bacon, until we saw it was the head of a Baconman. The thing just uttered "NEBbbbbb will be baaaack!" and flew off. The picture posted at right shows the closest representation to what we saw, that of a Nightgaunt from the Cthulu mythos. While we shuddered, we got hungry, so we ate the head of Baconman... it was of course delicious. While NEB is gone, at least for now, we know that all Baconmen will be hunted and hopefully their heads will be delivered for us to feast upon and look to the skies for the return of NEB!

While your eating your favorite bacon - check out this site for even more bacon related products - yeehaa bacon bitches! http://www.zazzle.com/bacon+gifts

Bacon and Tofu

I dont need to create a description for this image! Get off my ass!

Baconman kills again... this time Oprah!

The Baconman has struck again, this time killing talk show host Oprah. According to a source close to the victim, Baconman's number one enemy was Oprah. Apparently he interrupted her mid-show and cut off her head in front of hundreds of witnesses. He then ran off stage still holder her bleeding head singing to himself. The clip of the beheading is reportedly on the Youtube and has already received 100,000,000 views in just a few short hours. We are all secretly thanking Baconman for this. Oprah's head has not been recovered.

Former 'MST3K' writer pledges to eat only bacon this month

What a mega-super-stud!!!

From his blog: "Bacon is wonderful and would never hurt you. Bacon loves you." That brought a tear to my eye, true poet.

I think the underlying story here is too obvious to have to elaborate on, but I will, for you the loyal reader. Mike Nelson is clearly the coolest dude on the planet. Cooler than Ice Man, Mr. Freeze, the dog from the Slurpee cups, Billy Dee Williams, a cucumber, a Polar Bear's toenails, and the other side of the pillow combined!

Anyone for starting The Church of the Holy Mike Nelson with me?

Read the blog here: http://blog.rifftrax.com/

Bacon Man kills NEB!!!

The bacon man has killed the NEB. Apparently the bacon man was tired of the lame ass NEB poking around and overall being a worthless piece of bacon crap that no one could enjoy, so he gutted that pig like a fish.

Bacon man is a figurine made of bad ass mouth watering delicious bacon. This bad ass bacon dude was first found here, I recommend going there and learning to building your own. You never know when you'll need to protect yourself from a bastard NEB. Peace out bacon fans, sorry for the delayed absence. Glad to be back. -Smidge

Enemy of N.E.B. discovered!

Flash Baconites! While looking to the skies for a chance to spot N.E.B. (Never Ending Bacon) and may hap catch a pound of cooked bacon to go with some beer, we just happened to catch a glimpse of N.E.B. but it was hauling bacon ass bobbing and weaving and we could not understand why that was and why we weren't getting bacon, until we saw what was causing the commotion and why my stomach stopped screaming for bacon; at least for 10 seconds - horrible in itself. What we saw chasing poor little N.E.B. was horrifying, terrifying and funny all at once. First heard about by Comedy Central's South Park first broke the news about another cryptid, that being of course known as "ManBearPig." We witnessed ManBearPig trying to chase after N.E.B. and probably cause harm or at least insult N.E.B. Why, we have no idea at this point, but perhaps it was because a part of ManBearPig, maybe 1/3 of it considers N.E.B. a traitor to the ilk of "Mega-Sus Scrofa" by freely distributing the food treasure of bacon, or maybe because N.E.B. is cute and ManBearPig makes you almost want to vomit your bacon. So beware Baconites, while searching for N.E.B. and maybe some free bacon, be on the lookout for ManBearPig - that foo is a crazy-ass! More information to follow as it develops - right here at baconation.com!

Original photo credit posted on the photo - now I can has bacon?

N.E.B. Sighting!

Hail Baconites! Flash! N.E.B. (Never Ending Bacon) has been spotted over a field in Montana back around 1977! The picture looks like a UFO, however our discerning scientists here at the nation has discerned that the object is actually a camouflaged flying pig that we have dubbed N.E.B.! A N.E.B. paradigm dons our blog here doing what N.E.B. does as well, flies around and releases a never ending bounty of bacon! The government has tried to locate N.E.B. but cannot at this point, as it continually bobs as it flies, staying underneath most radar systems. Occasionally it lands to eat slops it finds or slops left out. Why leave out slops? According to legend, if you're really good and leave out slops - N.E.B. may visit, eat the slops, grunt and drop off a pound or two of cooked bacon! Now sightings of N.E.B. have been rare, as most people are eating the bacon dropped when N.E.B. flies by and their hands are too greasy to hold a camera steady, but stay tuned true Baconites, right here at baconation.com, for more updates and out of focus pictures of N.E.B.!

100th Baconation Post!

Hail Baconites! This is our 100th official post, even though it the counter for 2008 marks us at 99 - this is our 100th post! We apologize for the delay in posting, however, we have been scavenging the 'Net for already published stories on bacon that we can add commentary to and relink for your enjoyment! As this is our 100th official post, we thought we would add a few stories here for your bacon drenched enjoyment. My suggestion is first that you cook up some of your favorite bacon, crack your favorite beverage and prepare to read or re-read about the following!

The Bacon Explosion! - Hell yeah! As I started writing this post, a few friends contacted me about the latest, greatest, bacon amalgam - "The Bacon Explosion". If you have not read or tried the concoction yourself - well then git yer ass over to the NY Times son! Here, I helps yas: Bacon Explosion

Bacon wrapped breasts... chicken breasts that is. Okay - this is for the Baconites who believe in a more holistic approach to eating bacon - wrapping it with chicken. I know, crazy, but we have to embrace in Bacon diversity if we are to fully appreciate our bacon nations. ABC News broke the news on this sweet ass dish - which is also being touted as a Super Bowl dish: Bacon-wrapped chicken breasts.

Bacon shopping extravaganza! I was snooping around, looking for something that would entertain you while you were enjoying bacon and check this sweet-ass site out Baconites: http://www.mcphee.com/categories/meat.html

Novelty items for all to enjoy and they all feature bacon! Does it get better than that? Some may say, finding the perfect mate, finding Jesus or jebus, becoming rich and successful, buying the dream house and getting a 65" LCD TV might be better goals in life - but Baconites - we're talking bacon novelty items heah! And I apologize for offending anyone, as there are sushi items on that page as well. My bad.


Original photo credit: http://feedme.typepad.com/my_weblog/good_stuff/

Drunken fiend damands bacon!

Artists are a funny breed. Take this young buck for instance. Clearly dedicated to his art yet we still see sings of his bullishit existentialism. From this picture alone we can determine he has not fully committed to the art. What the fuck is he doing with that guitar? Any asshole can BaconWave some ham, but to achieve true art, one needs to fry that shit! You can't expect to become an artisan of ham while masturbating your day away with frivolous pursuits like music or curing aids or some other egregious frivolity. One needs to fully commit oneself to the cause. Monet didn't paint while fucking around with Nintendo at the same time. This "gentleman" has a lot to learn about art and even more about bacon.