Thursday, September 24, 2009

Where the f**k is Snook, TX?!?

Hail Baconites and set your sites to the bacon beacon! I see we here at the nation have been on hiatus again, and in this economy, can you blame us? We have to spend every waking moment searching for bacon and every dreaming moment, dreaming when we can have bacon again! Hopefully, some of you are still out there to read this, if not, I understand, there's bacon to be eaten!

I just recently read something off of the cold bacon press, providing "top 5" list for bacon. While Onboards Informatics' list some heavy hitters, it had one failure, I wouldn't call it an epic failure, with bacon, there is never an epic failure, of course unless the bacon is not cooked up and eaten, but 'tis a failure to be sure mateys! Of all the cities listed, there was not an entry for Snook, TX! I know - what the hell is this world coming to, when you talk about bacon and not mention Snook! What the town may lack for in size, population @568, the little restaurant, known as "Sodolak's Original Country Inn" or simply "Steak House", packs quite the lunch punch.

I can see some of your faces now, adjusting in your chair and wiping bacon grease off your face. I can't tell if that look is disbelief, confusion or nirvana brought on by bacon, so I'll just clear this up for yas. Snook is a birthing place of the ever famous, country-fried f'ing bacon! I first wrote it about it here, and let me tell you something sonny-Jim, it's so popular, other restaurateurs, have started copying the receipe! So while the OI had an impressive list, I have at least one more entry for it.

For all the birthdays we have missed, I wish to apologize and say "Happy Belated Bacon Birthday!"

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The revenge of NEB!

Hail Baconites! After the brutal slaying of NEB at the bacony hands of the nefarious "Baconman" we of course went into states of mourning and disbelief. How could one bacon cryptid kill another and why? This event alone proves the dichotomy of all beings good and evil all in one. Whilst mourning on the moors of Lake Superior one mist filled morning, a call was heard by us. A faint cry that sounded like the "wheee-wheee-wheee" of a pig with the horrid sensation that bacon was not available in all places that bacon was needed. It was then we saw it, something horrible, something sensational, something bacon. It flew through the mist, and at times we could not make out what it was. We then saw it in full view - it swooped down to us and threw what we thought was a pound of fully cooked bacon, until we saw it was the head of a Baconman. The thing just uttered "NEBbbbbb will be baaaack!" and flew off. The picture posted at right shows the closest representation to what we saw, that of a Nightgaunt from the Cthulu mythos. While we shuddered, we got hungry, so we ate the head of Baconman... it was of course delicious. While NEB is gone, at least for now, we know that all Baconmen will be hunted and hopefully their heads will be delivered for us to feast upon and look to the skies for the return of NEB!

While your eating your favorite bacon - check out this site for even more bacon related products - yeehaa bacon bitches!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bacon and Tofu

I dont need to create a description for this image! Get off my ass!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Baconman kills again... this time Oprah!

The Baconman has struck again, this time killing talk show host Oprah. According to a source close to the victim, Baconman's number one enemy was Oprah. Apparently he interrupted her mid-show and cut off her head in front of hundreds of witnesses. He then ran off stage still holder her bleeding head singing to himself. The clip of the beheading is reportedly on the Youtube and has already received 100,000,000 views in just a few short hours. We are all secretly thanking Baconman for this. Oprah's head has not been recovered.

Former 'MST3K' writer pledges to eat only bacon this month

What a mega-super-stud!!!

From his blog: "Bacon is wonderful and would never hurt you. Bacon loves you." That brought a tear to my eye, true poet.

I think the underlying story here is too obvious to have to elaborate on, but I will, for you the loyal reader. Mike Nelson is clearly the coolest dude on the planet. Cooler than Ice Man, Mr. Freeze, the dog from the Slurpee cups, Billy Dee Williams, a cucumber, a Polar Bear's toenails, and the other side of the pillow combined!

Anyone for starting The Church of the Holy Mike Nelson with me?

Read the blog here:

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Bacon Man kills NEB!!!

The bacon man has killed the NEB. Apparently the bacon man was tired of the lame ass NEB poking around and overall being a worthless piece of bacon crap that no one could enjoy, so he gutted that pig like a fish.

Bacon man is a figurine made of bad ass mouth watering delicious bacon. This bad ass bacon dude was first found here, I recommend going there and learning to building your own. You never know when you'll need to protect yourself from a bastard NEB. Peace out bacon fans, sorry for the delayed absence. Glad to be back. -Smidge

Enemy of N.E.B. discovered!

Flash Baconites! While looking to the skies for a chance to spot N.E.B. (Never Ending Bacon) and may hap catch a pound of cooked bacon to go with some beer, we just happened to catch a glimpse of N.E.B. but it was hauling bacon ass bobbing and weaving and we could not understand why that was and why we weren't getting bacon, until we saw what was causing the commotion and why my stomach stopped screaming for bacon; at least for 10 seconds - horrible in itself. What we saw chasing poor little N.E.B. was horrifying, terrifying and funny all at once. First heard about by Comedy Central's South Park first broke the news about another cryptid, that being of course known as "ManBearPig." We witnessed ManBearPig trying to chase after N.E.B. and probably cause harm or at least insult N.E.B. Why, we have no idea at this point, but perhaps it was because a part of ManBearPig, maybe 1/3 of it considers N.E.B. a traitor to the ilk of "Mega-Sus Scrofa" by freely distributing the food treasure of bacon, or maybe because N.E.B. is cute and ManBearPig makes you almost want to vomit your bacon. So beware Baconites, while searching for N.E.B. and maybe some free bacon, be on the lookout for ManBearPig - that foo is a crazy-ass! More information to follow as it develops - right here at!

Original photo credit posted on the photo - now I can has bacon?

Monday, February 2, 2009

N.E.B. Sighting!

Hail Baconites! Flash! N.E.B. (Never Ending Bacon) has been spotted over a field in Montana back around 1977! The picture looks like a UFO, however our discerning scientists here at the nation has discerned that the object is actually a camouflaged flying pig that we have dubbed N.E.B.! A N.E.B. paradigm dons our blog here doing what N.E.B. does as well, flies around and releases a never ending bounty of bacon! The government has tried to locate N.E.B. but cannot at this point, as it continually bobs as it flies, staying underneath most radar systems. Occasionally it lands to eat slops it finds or slops left out. Why leave out slops? According to legend, if you're really good and leave out slops - N.E.B. may visit, eat the slops, grunt and drop off a pound or two of cooked bacon! Now sightings of N.E.B. have been rare, as most people are eating the bacon dropped when N.E.B. flies by and their hands are too greasy to hold a camera steady, but stay tuned true Baconites, right here at, for more updates and out of focus pictures of N.E.B.!

Friday, January 30, 2009

100th Baconation Post!

Hail Baconites! This is our 100th official post, even though it the counter for 2008 marks us at 99 - this is our 100th post! We apologize for the delay in posting, however, we have been scavenging the 'Net for already published stories on bacon that we can add commentary to and relink for your enjoyment! As this is our 100th official post, we thought we would add a few stories here for your bacon drenched enjoyment. My suggestion is first that you cook up some of your favorite bacon, crack your favorite beverage and prepare to read or re-read about the following!

The Bacon Explosion! - Hell yeah! As I started writing this post, a few friends contacted me about the latest, greatest, bacon amalgam - "The Bacon Explosion". If you have not read or tried the concoction yourself - well then git yer ass over to the NY Times son! Here, I helps yas: Bacon Explosion

Bacon wrapped breasts... chicken breasts that is. Okay - this is for the Baconites who believe in a more holistic approach to eating bacon - wrapping it with chicken. I know, crazy, but we have to embrace in Bacon diversity if we are to fully appreciate our bacon nations. ABC News broke the news on this sweet ass dish - which is also being touted as a Super Bowl dish: Bacon-wrapped chicken breasts.

Bacon shopping extravaganza! I was snooping around, looking for something that would entertain you while you were enjoying bacon and check this sweet-ass site out Baconites:

Novelty items for all to enjoy and they all feature bacon! Does it get better than that? Some may say, finding the perfect mate, finding Jesus or jebus, becoming rich and successful, buying the dream house and getting a 65" LCD TV might be better goals in life - but Baconites - we're talking bacon novelty items heah! And I apologize for offending anyone, as there are sushi items on that page as well. My bad.

Original photo credit: