Friday, January 8, 2010

New Product Idea

You have heard of fortune cookies and their ability to tell the future. But I ask, why should Tat have all the fun? What about fortune bacon? Every strip of bacon has a little message on it to get you through the day! Even better, you could replace that terrible tasting piece of paper in your current fortune cookies, with strips of bacon! Ah-so round-eye!!!! -_-

For the Mom that has it all

For my mutha, only the best mutha effin gifts, mutha! This year's Mothers Day will be different than the last few. Last year I gave her my dirty laundry and told her to clean it. The year prior, I let her spring me on bail. A few years back, I didnt get her anything because I am 99% sure I am adopted. I mean, she is black as coal and I am whiter than Casper! Well, this year she is getting a BACON FILLED CHOCOLATE PIG. Holy crap does that look good! Umm... on second thought, I am gonna eat that myself. Instead, I will give her a high five, or at least email her one.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Bacon-bot my ass!

Hail Baconites! Yes, we are having somewhat of a Bacon Renaissance here at the nation. In doing some half-assed research that fuel our bacon laden minds, I came across an older blog and news article way back from '06 about NEC developing robots that could perceive taste. In a strange twist of events, it appears that a camera man taping for the video was perceived by the robot as bacon! All I can say to that is that the camera man obviously ate his pound portion of delicious bacon before filming the sequence. In regards to the robot, obviously, it is a ploy in order for us to think again of bacon, while it contacts "Sky-Net" to pass along the intelligence that humans could serve as pigs for their upcoming war against us.

I say we should take action first and kill all the robots! Wait - what if they make terminators that look like pigs... and they fire razor tipped bacon strips?!? NOoooooooo! ...Well at least I'll go out with a smile on what's left of my face, while choke-slamming Robby the Robot. All is well.

Bacon or Beer Can?

Damn, the Jamaicans might be the coolest people on earth! They have found a way, with their awesome language, to make the word "Bacon" be the same as "Beer Can". The 2 greatest substances on the planet. This is the next best thing since the Eskimos many words for snow, or the Jews many words for money. Have a look HERE for the proof. (Need sound)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

6 Reasons Bacon is Better than True Love

I love my bacon dammit. As soon as congress passes that bill allowing me to marry my bacon, it's on! This fine fellow HERE did this great documentury about how bacon is actually better than true love. It insipred me to start writing bacon articles again for the nation. All you whiney little, bacon-fucks can get off our assess about not delivering you bacon content lately.