Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Deadly Bacon Size Hail

The Meteorological and Environmentally Associated Teacher League Overseeing Verbal Emphasis on Revisioning Society(MEATLOVERS) has spoken out on a common discussion among weather forecasters everywhere. It seems basketball size hail is no longer to be considered the deadliest hail size. Across the country, hot weather girls have spoken of "bacon bit size" hail and considered it to be a harmless and cute name. However, it has caused more deaths this season than Ebola and the black plague combined.

Upon hearing the delicious weather report, hungry Americans are running outside to try to catch the bacon bits in their mouths. However, once outside, they realize it is nothing but ice. Many think their taste buds can no longer taste bacon and kill themselves instantly. Others simply realize they are idiots and take themselves out as well.

To remediate this threat to human life, weather girls worldwide are being asked to refer to hail of this size as "rat droppings" or "anal wart" size hail.

No comments: