Olympic Bacon Controversy

BREAKING NEWS!!! This just in. Slow motion replay has discovered that the Chinese mens Gymnastics team used performance enhancing bacon to win themselves the gold medal. As you can see above I just obtained pictorial evidence of this blatant disregard of the rules. The picture clearly illustrates the China-man indulging on a slice of bacon, with many backup slices of bacon in his hands.

Bacon clearly would give anyone an unfair advantage do to its deliciousness and awesomeness. No wonder China won so many gold medals during the 2008 Olympic games, they were all on bacon! Those darn Chinese, what will they think of next?

Bacon Tuxedo!

Holy mongoly, this dude is awesome. Not only does China kick ass at winning gold medals, they are also equally as good at making delicious tuxedos.

This suit, while fashioned in China, is made of high quality bacon. This suit is so awesome, that you are sure to be the life of the party. Combine this with the Bacon Toupee and people will bow to you and treat you like a deity.