Motivation

This is all I need to be motivated:

Bacon Pr0n!

Hail Baconites! Are you feeling naughty, randy and in the mood for bacon? Well we here in the bacon labs have uncovered some bacon pr0n for those times when you cannot cook up some bacon yourself. This could go in so many directions - but lets, at least initially, keep it at just watching the bacon cook up! Yeah, oh yeah... fry it up baby! Ohhhh yeeahhh... it's soooo gooood! So good, it may in fact, be evil... eeevil!

The Bacon Hat

Nuff said!

Something is wrong with my bacon

Can anyone help me? What is happening?

We got yer bacon heah!

Hail Baconites! In our never-ending search for quicker bacon - we have discovered yet another method for cooking bacon for those times you wish to make a blanket and couch cushion fort and hoard some bacon for yourself. Yes, recapture that time in your past when all you cared about was forts, bacon and the next cartoon or 3 Stooges episode coming next on T.V.; you know - last week! But in order to complete your journey to those nostalgic times, you need bacon, and you need it quick. If you cannot locate your "Bacon Wave", worry not - you can still have a plate o'bacon in relatively short time by just simply following the instructions in this video. I know, I know... it is amazing, and better yet, it's all true! So, start building your fort... in front of the T.V. of course, get your flashlight, watch this video, then make the bacon and lock yourself in your fort and drift back to those days of carefree caring.

Area Man Proclaims his Love of Bacon

Area man, a self proclaimed bacon aficionado and blatant metrosexual, has proclaimed his undying and unnatural love of bacon. "I use bacon in everything I do. Every day, I stuff bacon in my undies, pour bacon grease in my gas tank, feed my ferret some bacon bits, and take a bacon bath." Some people might call this creepy, others really creepy, but he claims bacon works wonders on cleaning his pores. "I take bacon baths every night and my skin is marrrrrrrveloooooous!"

Is this normal? Is this odd? Is this something we should should all aspire to be? The answer is, yes to all those questions. You should find this man and learn everything about bacon he has to offer.

Bacon iPhone Case

Leave it to the Germans! Is there anything they cant do? First they invent the Bacon Hitler, then they scare the Jews into becoming bacovores, now "Die Bacon Tasche" for your iPhone? Sweet! Das Bacon!

Those of you without an iPhone, don't cry, pansies. You can use this for other things too, like keeping your drugs, your cigarettes, your portable copy of the dictionary, or a little black book with the addresses of all your favorite bacon places in town.

Jews to accept bacon?

Word on the street is that Jews are finally going to accept bacon into their diet. Israel is thinking of changing their country flag to the above picture to announce to the world that they have a place for bacon. After speak to one very Jewish person, he informed me that "I know bacon is delicious, it looks delicious, it smells delicious. Praise Allah that I can finally eat bacon without committing a sin". This comes as big news and might even ease tensions with Israel’s neighboring countries. Israel’s Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, is reportedly going to have a piece offering of bacon with Palestine’s Prime Minister next week. Way to go Israel! Welcome to the bacon community!

Bacon Hitler?

Ummm..., WTF?

Bacon Haiku's

I sure like bacon
It is pleasure for my mouth
I need bacon now
-smidge

Bacon dear bacon
how i love your crispiness
let me lick you now
-smidge

Fill me up bacon
I need you inside of me
mmm bacon mmm mmm good
-smidge

My doc says I'm ill
He suggests tons of bacon
I should comply now
-smidge


My bacon is good
My bacon is better though
My bacon is the best
-unknown

Bacon, Bacon bits,
Bacon cake, Bacon cookies,
Bacon sausages
-unknown

Once upon a time
There was a beautiful piece
of bacon, the end
-Mark

Submit your own bacon haiku via the comments section. If we like it, we will add it to this post.

Bacon Aisle at the Supermarket?

This is where God must shop! An entire aisle, dedicated to bacon? I think I would live here if I could. Notice some of the bacon is 69 cents, must be some kind of erotic bacon.

Why isnt this in every grocery store? President-elect Obama, this is the change we need! Yes We Can!

Deadly Bacon Size Hail

The Meteorological and Environmentally Associated Teacher League Overseeing Verbal Emphasis on Revisioning Society(MEATLOVERS) has spoken out on a common discussion among weather forecasters everywhere. It seems basketball size hail is no longer to be considered the deadliest hail size. Across the country, hot weather girls have spoken of "bacon bit size" hail and considered it to be a harmless and cute name. However, it has caused more deaths this season than Ebola and the black plague combined.

Upon hearing the delicious weather report, hungry Americans are running outside to try to catch the bacon bits in their mouths. However, once outside, they realize it is nothing but ice. Many think their taste buds can no longer taste bacon and kill themselves instantly. Others simply realize they are idiots and take themselves out as well.

To remediate this threat to human life, weather girls worldwide are being asked to refer to hail of this size as "rat droppings" or "anal wart" size hail.

BACON WINS!

LOVELAND, CO - The people have spoken and bacon has triumphed over fries. The Delicious (D) party NOM-NOM-NOMinee has won in a landslide. This is a day for the people, by the people, and via the hungry. Independant party candidate broccoli came in with 0% of the vote.

MORE INFORMATION

Bacon Whiskey

Some of you more blue-collar bacon lovers may not find much use for Bacon Vodka, so we here at baconation want to make sure you have another solution to get you drunk and smelling like bacon. Gentleman Ham's Bacon Whiskey! The perfect drink for hoppin' on yer hog after slammin' some hog. Damn that's a good use of bacon.

So, I know, some of you bacon drunks cant afford this sort of luxury. That's OK, we are a full service bacon provider. For those of you that cant afford it, or simply cant find it at your local meat market/liquor store, here is a recipe to make your own!

Now, I am off to take a swig of this tasty concoction and maybe beat the first person I see.

US...B...B...Bacon?

Have you ever wondered how smart bacon is? Have you ever pondered why your bacon can't also give you porn? Do you dream of keeping something bacon in your pants? Well... some brilliant dude over at inventorspot.com has started to market a USB stick of bacon!!! This bad ass piece of computer hardware can store 4 gigs (thats a lot of porn or bacon pictures) and it looks frickin delicious! Don't be cheap, go and buy a bunch of these. Then cook some bacon. Then eat the bacon and play with your hardware. Its like my mom always said, if it looks cool, play with it until it falls off (the table).